Í would like to begin by apologizing, not of the inappropriate accent over that I, I oddly like it, but for my slow spiral into emotion writing. I began this blog to talk about world travels and experiences, cross cultural exchanges and bilingual conversations. I am afraid to admit it, but this little webby site of mine has slowly developed into a creature of my own making, a naval gazing blog pretending to be something it is not. I have been to talk, almost entirely about me, myself, and of course, Í. Well, I am sorry.
I guess, at this point, my adventures here in Spain have become me, and while life has rounded out its roughness, smoothed out its edges, I am still trying to figure out this guy (two thumbs pointed at my chest). It have a little less than one month left, I am returning to Chicago at noon on the 18th. So for now, here I am, in Spain, exploring, savoring and simaltaneously counting down the days until my grand return. I expect flowers, a parade, and no less than three puppies upon my descent back into normalcy.
So, what about Spain? My secret connection, my emotional rock, my HOME. Well, it will weep without me, cry. Alright, maybe not, maybe no one will really care, but I will forever keep this place in my heart. Secretly cuddling my downright Spanishness in the deepest corners of my mind.
I guess, in life, there is no finality but death, and I guess, my relationship with Spain is the same. A living, breathing entity, I have developed a friendship with it, and as soon as I land back in America, I do not know how I will deal without my dear friend. See, I hope to return to Granada one day, to walk Camino de Ronda, visit the Alhambra, climb up to the Mirador, but I do not know when or if ever that will happen. So my goodbye, although hopefully not final, with be indefinite. Hazy. Unclear. Sudden. Sad. Nervous. Excited.
So, here I am, loathing those damn magdelenas (I still hate them) and enjoying the last moments of our life together, preparing for the long distance relationship that I will have after the 18th (I promise to check CNN.com, watching Spanish language TV, try to keep some sort of contact with my friend accross the miles.) I am here, trying to savor the Granada air, inhale the space that is Spain, and enjoy the moments as they gentle evaporate away.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hi Ptitsa
Sorry we didn't get to talk yesterday - I am completely sick and trying to recover a little before the trip.
I am sure you'll be sad leaving Granada, you may even cry a little. I remember when we were leaving Nettuno (after spending 3.5 months there, we felt emotional and connected). And besides for you it's also this important part of your life connected to this place - coming of age I'd say.
But this is a good kind of sad, not a depressing one. It's sort of like closing a book that you finished reading and taking a moment to reflect on it. You are moving on at the end.
And you don't have to apologize for writing about yourself. I think it's great that this blog naturally turned for you into what you set it up to be: an effort “to figure out my(your)self and the world at the same time”.
You are not self-centered, you are introspective. And at the end, as I am sure I told you already, I believe that every good piece of writing is at least to some extent autobiographical. Your writing can only be authentic if you’re writing about something you’re emotionally intimate with, which is - more often than not - yourself, or through yourself, or as reflected by yourself, or in connection to yourself etc.
I really look forward to my chance to see YOUR Granada!
MISS YOU SO MUCH!!!!
stop! you really don't have to apologize and if anything you've actually written very little about yourself!
that said, you asked for three and that probably won't happen, but you WILL have at least 2 puppies home to greet you. they're very cute geriatric puppies, one black, one white. both will be very excited to see you, especially if you stoop to their level and sit on the floor.
love you!
Post a Comment